Patrick Passafiume

Last week I opened for Marc Maron, the creator and host of the WTF Podcast.  It was a thrill to work with someone that you look up to and listen to every week, but it also happened to be a weird and stressful week for me.  Marc was great and he answered all the silly questions I had about comedy and his experiences as a comic.  Whenever I work with someone I respect and look up to I tend to turn into a 13 year old girl seeing Justin Bieber for the first time.  I tried to hold back my excitement, but still probably came off a bit weird.  Either way, Marc was cool and even busted my balls, which I was happy about because in my mind that means he at least acknowledged that I existed.  I learned so much about how much work I have in front of me if I ever want to be at the level he is as far as comedy and performance is concerned.  I watched Marc crush night after night without being “jokey” and letting the audience in on his insecurities and his vulnerabilities.  It was incredible to watch him work. It was both inspiring and depressing that he was so good.  Seeing guys like him, Burr, and CK makes it feel like there is no way to reach that level of funny.  I’ve been writing constantly and trying so hard to grow as a comic and I felt like I was making great strides until parts of this week.

I listen to the podcast every week and Marc talks about his issues with eating and I have been watching what I eat because I have my own issues with weight that I’ve struggled with for a long time.  I don’t see how Marc survives.  His fans brought him cakes, ice cream, and cookies all week.  We sat in the green room just shoveling delicious snacks in our face holes and then went out to eat after the shows so we could shovel more greasy shit food down our throats.  I did have a hilarious moment when we went out to eat one night.  Marc and I were standing outside of a restaurant when a homeless man came up to us singing Rihanna’s “S&M.”  ”Cause I may be bad, but I’m perfectly good at it.”  He sang out of tune and even added his own words.  I looked at Marc and said, “Welcome to Louisville.”  So the good part is that no matter how a show went, I could go backstage and eat some cake and ice cream to drown my sorrows.

                                                                 Snacking with Maron

I gotta be honest, the shows did not go well for me for some reason.  I think I put too much pressure on myself to have really good shows in front of Marc Maron.  I told myself before the first night to not have any expectations about the shows and just relax and do what I do.  I knew I had no chance of being invited to be on the podcast, but somehow in the back of my mind I had that fantasy where he sees me kill and is impressed to the point where he invites me on the podcast and takes me on the road.  I think every comic in my position has that fantasy, although it probably is a unhealthy thought because you end up setting the bar to a level that won’t be reached.  So even knowing that I didn’t have a chance, I still wanted to crush all week.  Crushing at the Improv is something I’ve done many times and wasn’t a concern for me until the Maron week actually started.  It would be easy to blame the audience, but I just can’t do that.  Something was off all week.  I didn’t bomb every night, but they weren’t shows that I felt proud of.  There was a night where I literally ended up talking to myself in front of Marc about how bad I was without realizing he was sitting there.  Before you think I completely ate shit all week, know that I did have good shows and I had one of the most interesting nights of my life on Friday night.  On a single show I ruined one relationship and started a new family.  It was amazing.  When I was onstage, there were some loud people so I called them out and told them to be quiet and  a woman was going to yell back at me and her boyfriend told her stop.  At the point, she lost her fucking mind and she started yelling at him.  At one point she accused him of cheating, called him from the bathroom, and cried during Ryan Singer’s set.  What’s funny is that while she was crying, her boyfriend sat and ate nachos.  They went head to  head and fought with each other to the point that the people they came with got pissed off and eventually told them to leave.  That’s sad when your friends tell you to leave because you’re an asshole.  I felt so proud that I ruined that relationship because they were being assholes during my set.  In my defense, the relationship must not have been that strong if I destroyed it.  At the end of that  same show, I facilitated a proposal.  A guy got up onstage and proposed to his girlfriend and I had to be in the middle of it and guide him through the process.  I was more nervous about doing that than I was telling jokes in front of people who clearly didn’t like me that much.  The proposal worked out and the woman said yes.  So in one night, I completed the circle of life.

After a show where I didn’t feel like I did that great, Marc did make me feel comfortable when he really didn’t have to.  At one point, he looked at me and said, “Don’t be so hard of yourself.” and then joked about I wasn’t funny.  I asked for his advice about growing and becoming a comic that isn’t so worried about going for the kill every night and I told him I was trying really hard to get to that point and he looked at me and said, “Sometimes it doesn’t work.”  In one sentence, he shit on my set, mad me laugh, and gave me perfect advice.  I felt like Marc liked me and the fact that I was even concerned about that is kind of sad, but I really wanted to prove myself as a comic to him.  I think every comic feels that way.  That’s why we became comics because we have something wrong with us and have a need to constantly prove ourselves to strangers.  I did feel instantly comfortable with him, but it’s weird because I listen to him every week so I felt like I knew him and I’ve hadn’t met him before the week.  It must be odd for him to have so many people who think they know you already based solely on the podcast.  He was friendly and hilarious to talk to.  So even though we had conversations and he seemed engaged, I still had moments where I wasn’t sure though.  Whenever he talks to people he respects on the podcast, you can tell by his excitement and voice.  I over analyzed every inflection in his voice and his tone and a part of me was like, “he didn’t sound like he really cared that much about that story I just told.”  The other thing I had to keep in mind is that he’s a very successful comic and I’m sure he gets asked questions constantly and I’m sure people are always asking things of him and I didn’t want to be that guy.  I didn’t want to over step any boundaries and ask for things.  All in all, it was an amazing experience being that close and learning from one of my favorite comedians.  Seriously, if you haven’t already, listen to the WTF Podcast.  Check out his cd “This Has to be Funny” on Itunes.  There will probably be a part 2 to this post so stay tuned.